Issue 111
The Number One To Do List Hack
Hello Beautiful Human –
How are you doing? There are 13 days left in the year and I hope you are off celebrating, but if you’ve still got a long to do list, this email will help you rise above and enjoy the season.
To-do lists can be neutral in nature and a way of prioritizing tasks with our values and desired long term goals.
But if you are not aware and mindful of how you are approaching your to-do’s it can automatically generate a flurry of emotions.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by your to-do’s, there is a good chance it is riddled with layers of emotions and thoughts about the tasks that flooding your nervous system.
Most likely the flight or freeze response has been triggered.
Reflection Time:
What is actually on your task list and how is it making you feel?
Overdue tasks -> triggering shame and embarrassment?
You know you should have done the thing ages ago.
Conflict inducing tasks -> triggering avoidance and fear?
That text message that involves holding a boundary with someone.
Complex tasks -> triggering feelings of insufficiency and confusion?
The impossible schedule that needs difficult decision making, delegating, and letting go of expectations.
Pick your own list apart and see what unprocessed emotions are hidden in your list.
Emotions are felt physical sensations created by the thoughts you think, and meaning you create in your mind about any given situation.
Emotions are not the ultimate truth nor are they immovable. When we allow ourselves to see and feel the emotion we can move through it.
Your nervous system is amazing and has wisdom to offer when we take time to slow down and listen.
It is trying to protect you from uncomfortable feelings and anything it perceives as a threat… unfortunately sometimes it leads you to avoid just doing into the very thing you say you want to do.
Becoming mindful of the layers within your task list puts you in control of negative narratives and challenging emotions.
Garbage thoughts like,
“Why am I so lazy”,
“I’ll never get this done”,
“I don’t know where to start”,
drain your energy and destroy your ability to have a harmonious relationship with yourself and
your to do list.
With awareness and a willingness to process emotions, you can put your task list into a more neutral space.
You can then rationally ask yourself how the things you assume you have to do align with your values, goals, and the person you want to be.
Reflect on the task’s ultimate value and see if you are elevating everything to “urgent and important” simply because you are in an activated nervous system response.
Maybe you don’t have to do elf on the shelf, or cook everything from scratch; if you want to, go ahead, but have fun with it.
Disarm your list of the emotional power and then prioritize and release what will not get done.
This is the mental and emotional practice that allows joy and gratitude to enter even in the world of endless to do’s.
Sending you much love as you disarm your list of negative emotions and cover it with gratitude.
-Sonya
p.s. If all of this nervous system and emotional work sounds like a different language to you, but you are intrigued on how this could bring more peace, less stress, and more effective leadership skills into your life, Let’s chat.
Calling all my Minnesota Locals!
Overheard on a coaching call:
“I used to just work harder when I was stressed. Now I take a pause, refocus, and am more effective.”
– Empowered Client