When self-acceptance feels like defeat

Hello Beautiful Human,

How are you feeling? As we wrap up Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to talk to you about the concept of “self-acceptance.”

As a high-achieving, motivated change agent, acceptance is not something that comes naturally to me. You too?

Self-acceptance sounds nice. Not effective or strong enough to change the world that is in serious need of more justice and transformation.

‘Self-acceptance’ belongs on a flowery affirmation card. It’s not found in the DNA of someone who passionately cares deeply about changing the world.

I know I’m not the only one motivated by the words of Angela Davis: “I’m no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I’m changing the things I cannot accept.”

And so you commit yourself to personal development. You desire to live up to your potential whatever it takes.

You’ve tried habit trackers, personal challenges, and positive affirmations to create the change you desire, but the effort is exhausting.

You consume the personal development podcasts and attend the yoga retreats, all the while getting marginal growth. But not the radical transformation or internal peace you desire.

Your personality, neurodiversity, tendencies, and habits continue to trip you up in the most annoying ways. (I’m speaking from personal experience here).

“Accept yourself as you are” sounds like the next best advice after feeling frustrated with your limitations, but if you’re honest, there is a disappointment and sense of defeat in that type of ‘acceptance.’

But acceptance isn’t really in my nature. I’m quietly stubborn like my dad and tenaciously hopeful like my mom.

So for the past 15 years I’ve immersed myself into human development, adult learning, the neuroscience of change, and got to a cellular level on what unlocks human potential.

I’ve discovered is that the half-hearted acceptance of who we are doesn’t create the peace you want nor the change we desire.

The profound and surprising discovery from all the learning, testing, and coaching over the years is that

it is in the open-hearted embrace of all of who you are that unlocks new possibilities.

• When you stop trying to be someone else, your unique power emerges.
• When you stop telling yourself you should be different, then you find the energy to change behaviors that no longer serve you.
• When you allow yourself to pause long enough to appreciate who you are and your unique wiring, then you can start rewriting your inner narrative in a way that fuels your potential and increases your capacity for transformation.

This is the powerful work that happens with my 1:1 coaching clients.

I’m looking for people who want to be done fighting themselves to be better and who desire to discover what is possible with open-hearted acceptance.

Radical acceptance looks like:

• New levels of motivation to tackle projects you keep putting off.
• Patience with others that creates better communication and fulfilling relationships.
• Having fun filling your cup and not punishing yourself with guilt or worry.

Defeated self-acceptance is not for me. And I don’t want it for you either.

Radical acceptance is simply the first step in becoming who you desire to be.

It’s counterintuitive. It’s backed by neuroscience, human development, and indigenous wisdom.

It’s a different way of creating change.

I have a few openings in my schedule this summer for new 1:1 clients, is your name on it?

If you feel called to approach your personal and leadership development differently than before then you’re invited to book a free discovery session.

You are meant for so much more than defeated self-acceptance.

Radical self-acceptance propels you towards your dreams and the impact you desire to make is so much more fun.