Leadership Inside Out

Issue 30

What stops us from DOING the THING

June 7, 2024

Hello Reader, How are you?

If you have things you want to do, even NEED to do, but you can’t seem to make happen, you are not alone.

That annoying disconnect between what we WANT to do and what we ACTUALLY do drains our energy and self confidence.

Your brain may tell you, “I am the special defective unicorn that can’t get it together”. The truth is, it’s totally normal. Let’s break down WHY this happens.

As motivated change agents, we ALWAYS see areas for improvement. The should’s, the could’s, and real desires to create change are a part of our DNA.

While execution, achievement, and growth are also always present in our life, those pesky areas of growth and development that seem to escape our ability seem to be the ones that nagg our mind the most. You know the areas…

Such as wanting to better at:

  • Creating a reflective/mindful practice
  • Taking better care of our bodies and getting more sleep
  • Consistently taking action on our big dream… writing the book, doing the art, building the network/project.
  • Saying NO to all the things we are currenting doing that don’t align with what we want.

What is ‘The Thing’ you wish you could wave a magic wand and incorporate into your life?

Whatever it is, there is reason why it’s not happening. It comes down to three simple potential roadblocks.

  • What you THINK about doing it.
  • What you FEEL (or fear you will FEEL) when doing it.
  • What your embodied (i.e. nervous system) knowledge is telling you about doing it.

When we intend to create change or “Do the thing” our brain gives us lots of reasons why delaying is better than taking action.

Our emotions kick in anticipating the potential discomfort of trying and failing or being imperfect. What if I do the thing and find myself disappointed with the result?

It feels better to hold on to the hopeful emotion of “someday” instead of risking discomfort today.

Perhaps you are 100% rationally behind the value of doing the thing, you have aware of your emotions, but you STILL can’t seem to tackle the thing or maintain the new habit with ease … This is where somatic coaching comes in.

Creating safety in our body to integrate what our mind and emotions want is often what traditional self and leadership development misses.

Awareness of these three levels (mindset/emotions/body) unlock the why behind the stuckness.

This is how I help my clients go from, “This feels like it will always be a struggle” to “I can’t believe I feel this good”.

This is why I call myself a change expert. I’ve struggled and I’ve fought with myself to DO THE THING. I’ve studied. I’ve investigated. I’ve practiced many approaches.

Through that work with myself and others I’ve created Leadership Atlas to help others map out their own change journey rooted in ease and joy.

Writing this weekly newsletter is a testament to creating internal change that used to feel illusive to me.

You don’t have to stay stuck or resign the struggle to a personality flaw.

You are not broken or incapable of change. You just haven’t accessed the right support to create the change you want.

You can stop beating yourself up about it.

There is another way of living infused with self-compassion and color.

Reflection Questions:

  • What’s going on under the surface regarding the things I wish I was doing but am currently avoiding?
  • What commitment will I make to get unstuck?

Music Recommendation:

In my ears… 🎶
​Lost But Free by Saco

I’m a big fan of this independant Dutch artist who releases catching single songs.

This recent release made me think of a couple of specific clients who are

Experiencing the freedom of letting people simply be people and focusing on their own locus of control.
Releasing chronic stress in their body by remembering the feeling of sand under their feet.
Finding the joy of mapping their authentic path without allowing society’s pressure to drive their action.
Actually, a number of my clients are experiences these forms of freedom.

They are on road home, but they are not alone.

Con Amor, Sonya​

Let’s chat! I only have a few spots available in June.

​Book a free Discovery call to explore how coaching could help you finally do the thing and get more mental freedom.