Leadership Inside Out™

Whether you are at a 1 or a 10 getting outside support to clarify your thinking and feeling puts you back in the driver seat of your life.

May this week be filled with gratitude, reflection, and rest as we move into the final month of the calendar year.

Yesterday I sent an email with the subject Happiness & Peace is Possible. I know it kind of sounds like something embroidered on a decorative pillow, a cheesy wish; a phrase that could easily be dismissed in the face of whatever challenges you are feeling.

You can expect me, as a leadership coach, to talk about mental wellness and “focusing on the things we can control”. AND I believe it is also important to recognize and name the environment and moment in which we find ourselves, much of which we can’t control.

How are you feeling, in your body? This question is sometimes met with a little confusion. We are used to staying in our head when asked, “How are you?”

We’re swimming in candy post Halloween 🎃 trick or treating. I don’t think the extra steps outweighed the onslaught of sugar, but fun was had either way.

What can I say, I’m a passionate person. People working in social impact tend to be. Our care and empathy runs deep and propels us forward. It’s a good thing. And it makes sense that there are things in this world that really get my blood boiling.

Today, let’s chat about responsibility. It goes hand in hand with leadership; whether you are leading an organization, your family, or your own career, taking responsibility is required.

Do you feel like you have a lot on your plate? I actually don’t know any motivated leader that is kicking their feet up saying, it’s ALL DONE.

This week I have been deep in preparation for the Emotional Wellness for Leaders Masterclass. It was fun crystallizing the insights I have gained and the practices I use with my clients over the past several years.

Our identities, family history, and ethnic heritage do impact how we feel and show up in the world as leaders and individuals.

If you’ve never considered this, it’s likely you operate in an environment that’s homogeneous to your upbringing and cultural norms.

If you’re the type of person who feels things deeply, the world needs you. AND… the world needs you to NOT beat yourself up or let the emotions around you drain you beyond empty.

I often say, leadership is EMOTIONAL—especially if you care.

At what age did we lose the Right to Play in our mind?

When did we decide to turn play mode off and work mode on?

What voice are we listening to that says, “you can return to play when you retire”?

Who says, “play is for the weekend, IF you get your work done”?

As one of my clients cleverly coined for his staff and students, we need to remember to B.A.R.K. about it. Believe that we are Brave, Amazing, Responsible, and Kind. Their school mascot is a Bulldog, which makes sense, but the acronym resonated with me. I think we all could use some more BARK. Let me explain.

A lot of people are struggling right now, some with the transition to autumn, others dreading the US election and associated division and hatred elevated on media, and others are swamped by life demands. It feels like a lot. But it doesn’t have to.

I’m excited—not because the days are getting shorter, but because I have a lot of great things in store this fall to support you and all the beautiful humans in my community.

Can we boost our focus and mental power simply by putting our phone in another room, out of sight? The research says, YES.

Is your brain offering you the sense that, “I’ve got this”; or do you feel like you’re in the spin of “I don’t even know where to start”?

Very often see weigh my clients down, more so than any specific challenge is the loneliness and isolation of feeling like they have to figure it all out on their own.

Have you ever found yourself completely baffled by someone’s response to something that you thought was completely neutral?

The practice of simply noticing the emotion and the physical sensations associated with it is a linchpin for accessing more autonomy over how your day goes.

One obvious way to get more energy is to rest… a simple solution is sometimes the best, but as I wrote about last week, it is not always easy.

Last week I was “out of office” – traveling in Alaska with my family, being wowed by wildlife and looooong days, full of sunlight.

Today’s personal reflection invites you to consider how a few reframes could lead to breakthroughs for yourself.

Today is a reminder that positive change can happen. Through the commitment and fortitude of the abolitionist movement and the inspired imagination of all those who fought for the end of slavery, Emancipation became a reality on June 19, 1865.

Do you know how to harness the power of your emotions? The energy, mood, or vibe we emit is the most powerful thing we control.

If you have things you want to do, even NEED to do, but you can’t seem to make happen, you are not alone.

Delegating work feels easy because you have developed the communication and expectation setting skills to get what you need, when you need it. You appreciate your team and they feel appreciated by you.

The more we understand where our thoughts come from, the more compassion and understanding we can give to others. We become better leaders.

You do NOT need to sacrifice your wellbeing in order for you to be a good leader.
Your mental, emotional, and physical wellness is, in fact, what fuels your ability to lead differently.

The notions of “Balance”, “Perfection”, “Having Enough Time”, “Doing it Right” is an illusion that has us spinning in exhaustion, comparing ourselves to people in other “boxes” and it is simply hurting us all.

Shame is a suffocating emotion; but through my personal coaching and development I had built the emotional capacity to see it and feel beyond it.

Becoming aware of what drains your energy and investing in ways to reframe and refuel is critical to regaining the sustainable energy you need to enjoy your work and life.

Knowledge is power. And the process of learning and knowing continues to evolve collectively and at an individual level.

Most likely you are the kind of leader that listens to your people. You know the basics of caring and effective leadership. In fact, you listen A LOT. Or at least you always try to.

At the start of every coaching session I invite my clients to take a moment to return to their body, to let themself feel supported by their breath and let their thoughts float by without judgement.

I start my newsletter with this question because how you are feeling matters. I recently saw a post that asked, “Are you sick of your job or is your job making you sick?”

Just three words, “Tell me more”, can create a powerful and meaningful connection. It’s a go-to coaching questions and an immediate bridge builder for any person trying to expand their understanding and create connection.

It’s International Women’s Day. How shall we celebrate? Let’s stop ignoring ALL the unpaid work women do. Just cause it’s unpaid, doesn’t make it less valuable. There’s a reason we’re exhausted and it’s not our fault.

Avoidance. (We’ve all been there). You know you should have that feedback conversation, but you aren’t sure how it will go. So you busy yourself with all the other ‘important’ things.

What is keeping you from taking action towards creating the change you know you want? (Nothing? Awesome. Read on for tips for when you find yourself stuck.)

I used to eyeroll when I heard anyone talk about “self-love”. 😒 I thought it was covertly selfish and vain. “We don’t need an excuse to stoke the ego.” I thought. ​But I was misunderstanding the concept.

“Psychological safety” is an academic term I first learned of while studying for my masters degree in Learning & Organizational Change. It is a necessary ingredient for learning and organizational health.

It’s been a minute since you’ve heard from me. But the learning and growth has not stopped… In fact, it’s been so much, let’s grab a drink & hangout. Join me TODAY for my first every impromptu Hat Happy Hour.