Leadership Inside Out

Issue 36

Flower, Weed, or Salad a Communication Conundrum

July 28, 2024

Have you ever found yourself completely baffled by someone’s response to something that you thought was completely neutral?

“What’s the big deal?! Why are they overreacting?!”

It’s actually not an uncommon occurrence.

As humans, we frequently communicate by assuming a common understanding.

It works, until it doesn’t.

A Dandelion – a detested weed, a plant of nourishment, a pesky invasive species, a happy memory, and the most resilient of flowers.

One moment you think you are talking about a flower and the other person thinks you are asking them to eat a weed.

It’s not personal.

It’s the confusing situation when people respond to different understandings of the topic at hand. It doesn’t make one perspective right or one wrong. But it can be frustrating when the common assumptions breaks down.

Typically, we only see the emotional response and not the multiple concepts and varied understanding that ignited the response.

When contradicting emotional responses to a single topic appear, as conscious leaders, we have option of zooming out, staying curious, and allowing space for the multiple definitions and responses to emerge.

Rather than soaking in your own bewilderment or frustration, you have the opportunity to expand your perspective and enrich your understanding.

My current read: clarity & connection by young pueblo

miscommunication and conflict occur because we are not building a bridge of understanding. often, in heated conversations, all we can think about is our own perspective, emotions, or ego. this limits our ability to empathize with the experiences of another person, which is a prerequisite for the harmony that comes from understanding. one of the greatest gifts we can give each other is selfless listening, which is hearing someone’s truth without projecting one’s own emotion or story onto it – literally receiving another’s perspective with complete acceptance.

— Yung Pueblo

Reflection Questions:

  • When I find myself being misunderstood how do I calm and regulate myself before engaging in conversation?
  • What seemingly basic assumptions am I making that may be leading to resistance, confusion, and frustration?

Stepping into any sort of leadership role requires improving one’s communication skills.

Communication (and miscommunication) happens on a mental, emotional, and embodied level. Your unique perspective and emotional history influence your current communication style and ability to create the impact and healthy work environments that you desire.

Next time you find yourself in a moment of confused communication and varied emotional responses, remember the dandelion. Someone might be simply responding to a different understanding.

Be well, Sonya​

p.s. I support my clients in radically improving their communication skills by first going inward and unlocking areas of stuckness.

You are capable of finding joy and ease in conversations that used to cause fear and frustration.

Don’t put off booking a call. It will be fun (and it will improve all those other conversations you may be avoiding).